Letters From Lovey-- Self love vs self loathing

Letters from Lovey


Dear Darlings,

Today I want to talk about inner turmoil with the pressures of society forcing you to be their image of beautiful-- or rather, insecurities.

Lately… I’ve been… Shattered. Unsatisfied. Angry. The phrase “self loathing” is definitely a qualifying description. You all know me; my life motto is “everyone is beautiful”. For some reason, though, I’ve forgotten that this pertains to myself as well. See, it’s easy to say someone else is perfect, but to really give ourselves the appraise we deserve is a difficult thing.

As far as I’m concerned, it happens to everyone. I’m not writing this to vent or rant about my low self-esteem. What I want to accomplish with this post is to give those of you reading this, who are going through similar issues, a hope that you’re not alone. And I want you to know that all those voices in your head saying “you aren’t this or you’re too that” are not real… These are figments of our own minds that like to attack us now and then and tear us down to be much smaller people than we are.

You are not weak. And you don’t have to change to be happy. If you want to change, that’s your decision—it may make you better or it may make you worse. But changing the way you look or act doesn’t make the hating stop.

This isn’t geared just towards girls, though we need it the most. I know plenty of guys who go through things like this just as much as their female peers do. Especially teenagers. But if you are only concerned with your outside, your appearance will never satisfy you. That’s why loving yourself is so hard.

There are so many days when I just want to cry after looking at myself in the mirror. I pick apart every part of my body until all I’m left with is a massive mush of critiques. Maybe it’s already been a bad day, or maybe I’ve lost my hope. But sometimes I just have no energy to tell myself that I am the truly human being I know I am.

But this poison in your mind cannot defeat you. Don’t you dare let it defeat you. Because I know without a doubt—tears streaming down my face, as I want to give each and every one of you the biggest hug and tell you this— you are beautiful.
I don’t care what the voices say. They’re wrong, and you don’t have to believe them. Write it down, sing it, dance it, scream it I am beautiful and you cannot hurt me!”

We are all worth so much. There is so much inside of us that makes up ten times over for any flaw that is on the outside. All of those people who you look at and want to be like are all looking at someone else too. We are stuck in a perpetual state of longing for something better. Anything better; but better doesn’t come, because we are already wonderful. Right now, you are wonderful.

I just want you to know that you are not alone, and everyone goes through this.
But we can all learn to love ourselves just as much as we used to hate ourselves. It won’t be immediate. It’s so hard. Oh boy is it hard. It hurts too. You feel like no one understands. But they do. It will be okay. You WILL be stronger and you WILL shine brighter than ever before. If you can’t then I can’t… and we are in this together.
Just promise me that you will try to believe in your beauty.
I wish you all the greatest joy possible today.

XOXO
Lovey